Relaxing Into Resourcefulness (Part 2 of 2) Released by: Tracy James, MA, CPCC Web Site: http://www.daybreakservices.com Four steps to reduce stress levels Email: day_breakllc@yahoo.com Keywords: anger management, stress management, stress, executive coaching, anger Update Date: 1/28/2007 8:18:28 PM Hits: 242 Descrption:  Four step process to Relaxing into Resourcefulness: 1. Breathe: When stress levels increase we often breathe shallow breaths. Notice what type of breathing relaxes you more. Some people feel more stressed breathing deeply and others are relaxed by it. One effective technique is to breathe in for 3 counts, hold it for 5 counts and breathe out for 7 counts. Repeat this at least three times and it can make a huge difference. The goal here is to begin to slow down and relax enough to hear the voice of your inner and resourceful wisdom. 2. Surrender: Surrender is experienced when we release our resistance to the present perceived challenge/situation. Surrender is a kind of softening and opening of the body as opposed to clenching and tightening. Often people say this situation shouldn’t be happening this way or things should be different. When we surrender those ‘shoulds’ it allows us to soften and become available to focus on what’s possible. 3. Be objective: This is about taking an objective and factual assessment of what exactly is going on without making things personal. Making it personal looks like: Blaming yourself or another, catastrophizing or continually focusing on the worst possible outcome. You are resourceful enough to face any challenge that can come in your life. The courage and wisdom are inside you already. You don’t need to wait for the situation to change for you to access your power and resourcefulness. Helpful questions can be: what exactly is the problem/issue here? What am I afraid of? What is my real goal here, and where am I in relation to that goal? Even if you don’t see the “how,” getting a clear assessment of the “what” will take you a long way. 4. Focus on the desired outcome: This can take practice and is much more easily done if you have completed the above 3 steps. The desired outcome refers to both the situation and to who you want to be in response to the situation. Shift your thoughts to what outcome you want to see, and what kind of person you want to be in the face of challenges. Who you are determines the way you think and the decisions you make. Then, as you stay focused on the outcome, you can look more effectively at possibilities and solutions. It’s important to be compassionate with yourself through the process. Improving your resourcefulness skills can take time. Start with one specific area of your life, such as being more resourceful at work or with your spouse. Once you see yourself making improvements in one area, it will raise your confidence, and before you know it, you’ll be responding powerfully with calm and creative solutions to all of life’s challenges. YOU CAN DO IT! Tracy James, MA, CPCC is a Life Coach, Speaker and anger management facilitator at Daybreak Counseling Service, an anger management education center located in Van Nuys, California. www.daybreakservices.com